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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25830448">the idea of you</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedHoodieAndTheOutlaws/pseuds/RedHoodieAndTheOutlaws'>RedHoodieAndTheOutlaws</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stranger Things (TV 2016)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Christmas, M/M, Mutual Pining, Not Canon Compliant, Winter, i'll add tags as i go</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 03:08:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,786</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25830448</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedHoodieAndTheOutlaws/pseuds/RedHoodieAndTheOutlaws</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jonathan comes back to Hawkins for the holidays. On its own, that's all fine and dandy but he finds himself spending more time with Steve than he means to. He doesn't know if it's a good thing or not, but he's hesitant to see how this plays out for the two of them.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jonathan Byers/Steve Harrington, Joyce Byers/Jim "Chief" Hopper (minor)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>39</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I made a <a href="https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7uNjx3I7Iaeb4TWm0gFNJl?si=YvwWaoHhQaqIfI2LgMoP7A">playlist</a> for this, if anyone wants to check it out. I'm trying to outline this as I go, so hopefully this story goes well, but don't forget to comment and leave kudos if you like it so far!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jonathan somehow winds up back in Hawkins for the holidays. In hindsight, he saw this coming the moment his mom asked him over. It looks the same as he remembers, but he supposes very little changes in a year. </p><p>Except the fact that Joyce and Will don’t live in their house on the outskirts of town anymore. He already knew this, but not so long ago, they both moved in with chief Hopper and El. None of this was exactly news to him, but actually seeing it for himself made the reality settle in. Everything was changing much more than he realized. </p><p>Jonathan greets his mom as he comes in from the cold, and she pulls him into a tight hug. That much is the same as always. He’s at least happy to see her, even if he feels weird standing in a totally different house. The cabin is nice and cozy, but it does little to make him feel at home. </p><p>“It’s so nice to see you again,” Joyce says. “Come in, sit down.” </p><p>It still feels wrong, like he’s intruding, but he doesn’t argue. Jonathan sits at the table as Joyce prepares hot chocolate for them to share. At least he feels better just being with her right now. It’s the most familiar part of this whole situation. </p><p>As she sits across from him, he sips from his mug, unsure what he’s even supposed to say. It’s just him and his mom, after all. And it’s not like he’s been gone for years, a stranger to his own family. But he feels like there isn’t much he can say. Nothing exciting ever happens to him, and that hasn’t changed since moving away. He’s overthinking it, just like he always does.</p><p>“I’m so glad you’re staying for a while.” Joyce gives him a warm smile, and his worries start to melt away. </p><p>He nods and sets down his mug. “I couldn’t skip out on visiting for Christmas,” he admits. “I thought it might be a nice chance to hang out with Will.”</p><p>Even while he was away at NYU, Will would send Jonathan letters. Sometimes they were accompanied by drawings, all of which he hung up in his room. </p><p>“He really misses you.”</p><p>“I know. He only told me every time he sent a letter.” Jonathan laughs.</p><p>Really, he doesn’t mind one bit. If there was anyone he was closest to, it would be his little brother. There wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for that kid.</p><p>“Well, he’s out back if you want to see him,” Joyce says. “I’m sure he’ll be happy to see you.”</p><p>He finishes the rest of his hot chocolate before it can get cold. Jonathan bundles up again and heads outside where he can make out three figures in the snow. Of course, Will and El are easy to distinguish even from this distance, but as he gets closer, he realizes the third figure is Steve Harrington. He’s standing at the top of the hill, gloved hands brushing his hair from his face. </p><p>Admittedly, he didn’t expect to see Steve. Jonathan hadn’t seen him since he left. In fact, he hadn’t even thought about him the whole time.</p><p>“Steve?”</p><p>Jonathan stumbles through the snow, which is already seeping into his socks. Maybe he should have worn boots. </p><p>Steve looks up, grinning the moment he spots him. “Come to join us?” he asks. To his left, Will is setting his sled at the top of the hill. “We’re sledding.”</p><p>He can’t imagine how Steve got roped into this, but he seems like he’s having just as much fun, if not more. “Uh, no. I’ll watch.”</p><p>Steve shrugs. “Suit yourself.” </p><p>Jonathan simply becomes a spectator, but he’s not really watching what’s happening. He can’t focus, because his gaze keeps drifting to Steve. His hair is blowing in the wind, and his cheeks are rosy from the cold. For some reason, his mind keeps straying as he begins to notice just how handsome Steve actually looks. Every time he tries to push out those thoughts, they fight back. And he can’t win. </p><p>“Watch this!” The moment Will gets back up the hill, Steve wants to take a turn. He situates himself on the sled and has El push him off. He cheers as he slides down the hill, snow kicking up behind him. While it might seem a little childish, it was actually quite endearing how much fun he’s having.</p><p>Steve must hit a rock on his way down, because he goes flying near the bottom of the hill. The three of them are worried and rush down to check on him. Jonathan slides a few times, nearly falling a few times. He kneels down when he reaches Steve, the legs of his pants immediately becoming soaked. </p><p>“Steve, are you okay?” he asks. He doesn’t look like he’s injured but he lays on his back, his eyes shut. </p><p>Will kneels next to him. “Maybe he’s dead.”</p><p>For a moment, Jonathan thinks they might have to get him some help. Then, he opens an eye and looks up at him. “If this is what heaven looks like, I think I’m okay with staying here.”</p><p>Jonathan groans and takes a handful of snow, tossing it at him playfully. “You asshole.” Steve laughs and sits up, brushing the snow from his face. “You almost gave us a heart attack.”</p><p>“I thought maybe if I stayed there long enough, you might patch me up yourself,” he says. “You might still have to kiss my ouchies better, Nurse Byers.”</p><p>Will and El are giggling up a storm, and the grin on Steve’s face widens. Jonathan can only manage to snort and stand up. </p><p>“Yeah, not happening.” If he’s being honest, it <em> is </em> funny. He’s not sure if he wants to give him the satisfaction of knowing that. All he came here for was to see Will, but it’s way too cold for him to stay out here. His jacket isn’t even that heavy, which makes it worse.</p><p>Jonathan ruffles Will’s hair, though he’s still laughing. Just as he’s about to leave them to their own devices, Steve gets up, nearly tripping over his own feet. “Wait!”</p><p>He turns as Steve catches up. “Hey, uh-” Steve straightens his jacket, almost fidgeting as he searches for his words. “We should do something while you’re here.”</p><p>The offer shocks Jonathan. He’s not even sure when the last time they did <em> anything </em> together was. “Like what?”</p><p>“Well, we could start by getting some coffee tomorrow,” Steve offers. He looks down for a moment. “You don’t have to, obviously, but maybe we could catch up.”</p><p>Jonathan can’t think of a good enough reason to decline, even if he feels like it might be awkward. “Yeah, sure.”</p><p>The look on Steve’s face as his eyes light up is almost worth it. “Cool. How about tomorrow?” he asks. “I’ll be off work at 3.”</p><p>Just enough time for Jonathan to worry about all the ways this could go wrong. “Sounds good.” He walks back to the cabin, unsure of why he’s going through with anything so far.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I know it's been a hot minute since I've updated, but I promise I'm trying to actually keep up with this fic, I have some of it outlined already, so don't worry.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jonathan isn’t sure why he’d agreed to this. He’s sitting at a table, his coffee in hand, waiting for Steve. There’s way too much time for him to overthink this whole situation, and it’s killing him. </p><p>Steve was nice, of course, and a decent friend of his, he supposes. That, on its own, is saying something. But he can’t help wondering what this is supposed to mean. Jonathan tries to reason with himself repeatedly, reminding himself that he’s simply here to catch up and talk with a friend. That’s all. He doesn’t know why he’s overthinking and dwelling on it too much.</p><p>By the time Steve shows up, Jonathan has downed half of his own coffee. The moment he spots Jonathan, he grins brightly, striding over as he sits across from him. </p><p>“You actually came,” Steve says, sounding surprised. Maybe even shocked.</p><p>Jonathan nods, taking a casual sip of his coffee. “I did say I would, didn’t I?”</p><p>“Well, yeah.” Steve sheds his coat and hangs it over the back of his seat before facing him again. “I know it was pretty spur of the moment, though. I’d have understood if you had other more important things.”</p><p>“You make it sound like I have places to be.” As if he really has other friends besides him.</p><p>Steve shrugs, drinking his coffee and looking all too comfortable already. Jonathan’s not sure he’s ever truly seen Steve look out of place anywhere. “No, but I’m sure you came here to spend time with your family. Until I stole you away, of course.” The grin on his face is unbelievably cute, and Jonathan tries to think of literally anything else. He has to look away to collect his thoughts.</p><p>“Catching up with you didn’t sound too bad,” he admits. “Besides, El wanted to listen to Christmas music this morning, which is fine and all, but I can only handle listening to Frosty the Snowman so many times.” Especially so early. Just thinking back on it makes him laugh. </p><p>Steve smiles sheepishly. “I think that might be my fault. I let her watch the movie while I was babysitting the Party, and she’s obsessed now.”</p><p>Not that Jonathan’s surprised, really. It doesn’t take much to get El hooked on anything. “You know, somehow that makes a lot of sense.” </p><p>“What’s that supposed to mean?”<br/><br/>“I really don’t think I’ve met anyone as obsessed with Christmas as you.” He very clearly remembers last year when Steve tried to make a whole gingerbread house. He’d gone the extra mile and made gingerbread people resembling everyone. And while they hadn’t looked the greatest from an artistic standpoint, they’d tasted amazing. That was when Jonathan learned Steve was surprisingly good at cooking and baking, which had come quite a surprise, if he was being honest.</p><p>Steve doesn’t even look the least bit ashamed, not that he should. “You expect me not to get invested in Christmas? Because if so, I’m ashamed to even know you, Byers.”</p><p>Jonathan snorts. He finishes the rest of his coffee pretty quickly and sits back, his arms crossed. “I never said that. You’re just...very excitable, and it’s pretty funny,” he says.</p><p>Despite how worried he was earlier, Jonathan finds himself easing into the conversation as they catch up. He doesn’t have a lot to say that doesn’t sound totally boring. It’s not like he goes out, and all his time at NYU has been spent studying and worrying about his assignments. Steve, on the other hand, seems to have a lot happening now that he babysits the Party. </p><p>“I took the kids ice skating last week,” Steve recalls. “It was great, except I kept falling every ten seconds.” The mental image makes Jonathan laugh more than he thinks it should, but he can’t help it. “And then Lucas and Dustin kept complaining about being hungry, so we didn’t stay too long anyways.” It’s easy to imagine how aggravated he must have acted at the time, but he sounds so fond of them now. It doesn’t help how weird Jonathan’s been feeling the whole time.</p><p>“Sounds like they’ve been a handful.”</p><p>Steve nods. “Yeah, no shit. I love them, but it’s no piece of cake looking after them at all,” he admits. “The only kid that doesn’t make me feel like I’m gonna have an aneurysm is Will. He’s a good kid.”</p><p>“Well, he’s never been one to bother people,” Jonathan says. “I’m sure he just appreciates you taking them anywhere at all.” Him and his brother are surprisingly alike, so he’s not the least bit surprised. Will has always been quiet.</p><p>There’s a pause where neither of them say anything for a moment. It’s more awkward than Jonathan could ever care for. He’s almost relieved when Steve finally says, “I’m watching them tomorrow again. You know, if you wanna join. We’re making brownies. I found something cool I wanna try with them.”</p><p>The thought is tempting, and he almost accepts, but he remembers he’s busy. “I would, but I promised my mom I’d help with some of the decorations.” Hopper was going to help, but he had work, unfortunately. So that left him to help, not that he minded. It’s more time with his mom, something he always looks forward to.</p><p>“Oh, okay. Cool.” Steve smiles, shrugging. “Well, if you ever change your mind or finish early, the offer still stands.”</p><p>Jonathan nods. “I’ll keep it in mind.”</p><p>It isn’t long before they finally part ways again, leaving each other on a good note. For all of his worries, it went surprisingly well, and he actually enjoyed himself for the most part. Jonathan drives back to the hotel he got himself. As much as his mom insisted, he hadn’t wanted to stay at the cabin. It felt far too awkward to him, and it wasn’t the same as home where he’d had his own room. It’s not that he doesn’t like the cabin. It’s just a weird change, and he’s not quite used to it yet. It’s nothing against Hopper at all. </p><p>As soon as Jonathan’s back in his room, he pulls off his coat, tossing it on his bed before plopping down. He thinks back to Steve’s offer, and he wonders if he’ll even actually consider it. Ever since he’s come back to Hawkins, he’s been unable to keep his mind off Steve, and he’s not sure how to handle it. Nor does he know who to talk to about it. </p><p>So he does the only thing he can think to do.</p><p>Luckily, there’s a phone in his room, and he quickly dials the number he knows by heart. On the third ring, Nancy answers. “Hello?”</p><p>“Nance, I need your help.” He hears paper ruffling - probably her homework - before she answers again.</p><p>“Is something wrong?” She sounds concerned, and he feels bad for interrupting her. She’s probably doing something more important like her schoolwork. Not that this was the first time he’s called her for something so menial, especially since they’ve been going to different colleges. He just feels a lot more comfortable talking to her than anyone else about something like this.</p><p>“I’m fine,” he promises. “I just need to vent a little.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Life sure has been crazy. Sorry I haven't updated in a while, but I hope this ties everyone over for a bit. I know we're slowly getting somewhere, but this isn't mean to be a long fic anyways, so don't worry. We'll be getting somewhere soon with Steve and Jonathan.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Honey, could you grab the tinsel?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jonathan is a lot more distracted today than he likes to admit. He talked to Nancy for over an hour the night before, and while it was nice to talk to </span>
  <em>
    <span>someone</span>
  </em>
  <span> about his feelings, he’s still quite conflicted. Steve just won’t leave his mind. He tries to shake it off long enough to help out his mom, though he almost doesn’t hear her request. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, yeah.” Jonathan pulls himself out of his thoughts and grabs a box filled with tinsel of all colors. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joyce gives him a worried look, but she doesn’t push him to talk. Not yet. “Thank you.” They’re both silent for a beat as they decorate the house and the Christmas tree. Jonathan’s much taller than his mom - has been for years now - so he focuses on any spot she can’t reach on her own. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you doing okay, Jonathan?” Joyce finally asks in that worried tone she so often has. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s not totally sure how convincing he is, but he answers with a quick, “Yeah. Why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve just been awfully quiet. More than usual.” She finishes placing the tinsel and turns to him. “More than usual. You look like something’s on your mind.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Something’s always on my mind.” There are very few moments Jonathan can think of where he isn’t worrying about something. He takes after his mother that way, funnily enough.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joyce knows better, though she’s never been one to force him to open up. He likes that. Too many people try to make him talk about his feelings, but his mom never has unless she felt he was getting inside his head too much. “You know you can talk to me, right? I just want you to know-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, mom.” He does know. From the beginning, he’s always known. He just needs some time to think and figure this one out on his own. Nancy was helpful, but the only person who can really help him is himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joyce loosens up a little. Both of them know he’ll go to her if he seriously needs help. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How’s Hop been treating you?” he asks. Of anyone his mom could end up with, he’s glad it’s Hopper. He’s leagues better than Lonnie, and although her and Hopper have their arguments, it rarely seems to be anything serious. At least he actually seems to care about her, which is more than Jonathan can say for his father.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just fine,” Joyce answers, handing him some ornaments to hang at the top of the tree. “I think him and Will are starting to bond a lot more lately.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jonathan isn’t too surprised. There are very few people that Will doesn’t get along with.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hangs a Santa ornament above her before asking, “He’s doing okay after moving?” Sometimes Will is great with adjusting to change, and other times not so much. Jonathan worries about him, maybe more than he should, but he’s a worrier by nature.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Better than I hoped,” Joyce admits. “I think it helps having El around. He has his friends, sure, but he’s never had someone his own age with him in the same house.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Somehow, Jonathan isn’t surprised. Judging by the way they giggled and laughed at him and Steve the other day, he can tell they’re getting along well. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s good,” he says. “I think he needs someone like that.” Now that Jonathan is gone for college most of the time, he doesn’t get to spend time with Will as much as he used to. And the kid is growing so much already. Too fast, it feels like.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It isn’t long before most of the decorating is done, and Jonathan notices how badly it’s snowing outside. He doesn’t want to get caught in the worst of the storm, nor does he want his mom to go through the trouble of making room for him to stay.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As much as Joyce insists, Jonathan heads out after promising to be careful. The snow, of course, gets worse as he’s driving. At some point, he has to stop on the side of the road to clear his windshields of all the snow building up. The last thing he needs is to get into an accident.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His hotel is still a few minutes away, but he knows in this weather it may be longer. But he realizes how much closer to Steve’s house he is. Jonathan recalls Steve’s offer and sighs. Unless he wants to freeze to death or deal with the icy roads, neither of which he prefers, it’s for the best.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jonathan gets back in his car, the engine sputtering a few times before turning on, and heads to Steve’s house. It’s a much shorter drive, which means less chance of him causing an accident. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The moment he pulls into the driveway, Jonathan wonders if he’s going to regret this. But the kids will be there, so there won’t be many chances for him to make a fool of himself. Right?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jonathan heads up to the door, sticking his hands in his pockets and trying to shield himself from the wind. He really needs to remember gloves next time. He knocks, waiting for a moment before sighing in relief as he hears the door unlock.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve opens the door, clearly shocked to see him. “Hey. I thought you were with your mom, today,” he says, though he quickly hurries him in so he’s not standing in the cold. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was, but we finished decorating.” Jonathan is courteous enough that he takes his boots off at the door. He’d hate to track snow inside. “We finished, and I was driving back to my room when the snow got worse. You were close by.” It felt like the logical solution, and it’s not a lie.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The bright smile on Steve’s face makes Jonathan blush, but his cheeks and his nose are so red from the cold that he doubts it’s noticeable. “Awesome! I actually just finished making some cookies, and we have hot chocolate if you want some. The kids are eating in the kitchen.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That would be great, actually.” Jonathan follows him to the kitchen, relieved to be in a warm house again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sitting around the table are all of the kids, as Steve said. They look surprised to see him. Jonathan ruffles Will’s hair and steals a cookie as Steve prepares another cup of hot chocolate. Though he listens more than he talks, he enjoys the company more than he normally might. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve is surprisingly good at baking because Jonathan eats at least three cookies by himself. He’s not much of a sweets guy, but he can’t help it this time. Another addition to the list of surprising things about Steve. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The kids, of course, are chaotic and loud, but Steve and Jonathan handle them just fine together. The storm doesn’t die down when it gets late, and Jonathan has no choice but to stay the night. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve sets up the guest rooms for the kids and makes them promise not to stay up too late. He knows better than to take their word, but he gives them the benefit of the doubt anyways. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Downstairs, Steve and Jonathan have a movie set up. Despite how late it is, neither of them can sleep, and it’s just cold enough in the room that Jonathan wraps his arms around himself. Steve is quick to notice and grabs a few blankets. He insists they share and cuddle close for warmth. The idea isn’t an awful one, and Jonathan knows better than to resist. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jonathan scoots close to Steve, who wraps an arm around him, and for a moment it’s like nothing else matters. Like time slows down so they can enjoy this moment. Jonathan’s hopeful for just a moment that maybe his feelings aren’t unrequited. But Steve is a naturally touchy person, so he doubts this means much to him. He doesn’t care for once. Not right now he doesn’t.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The silence between them, at first, is awkward. Though the longer they stay huddled under the covers, the more comfortable they become. Jonathan - once stiff - relaxes. Even as Steve rests his chin on his head. Jonathan can worry about what this means later. For now, he’s quickly growing tired, and his eyelids are heavy. He doesn’t mind falling asleep in Steve’s arms for just a while.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
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